Depression

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DEPRESSION

Depression. Hm...a destructive feeling to be in. But have you ever been depressed?  Or
how do you know if you are? Or when does it come? Well to be fair, you can't answer
these straight away, it's not a one answer type of question.


What is Depression ?

Depression is when you wake up in the morning not having anything or any plans on your mind and you just think of when you can go back to bed already. It's losing the motivation to do anything and everything, even the smallest tasks become major problems when you're depressed. It's when you really believe that there's nothing that can make you happy again, it's not that your life is that bad or anything, there's just nothing to be happy about. It's when you always go to bed so late to overthink and wake up in the morning tired as hell but you keep doing it every night anyways. When you can never get enough sleep because you stay awake at night thinking why wasn't I good enough for someone, why is everyone treating me like this...all the same like I'm no one important, you keep asking yourself why... what... when... how... and never being able to answer them. It's when your only way of pleasure is by escaping your reality using social media and hiding your pain, or you keep listening to sad music just to make yourself even sadder but you still like the pain that comes with it. It's just when you feel numb towards literally everything. 


It's when you don't understand how you can smile all day long but cry yourself to sleep at night. How pictures never change but the people in them do. How your best friend can become your worst enemy, or how strange it is when your worst enemy turns into your best friend. How forever turns into a few short months that you'd do almost anything to get back. How you can let go of something you once said you couldn't live without. How the people who once wanted to spend every second with you, think a few minutes of their time is too much to spare. Especially how people can easily erase you from their lives after using you or just because it's easier than working things out.   

Depression is hiding your pain and what your going through with a little smile and if you're good enough, people will believe it.
It's wanting to be saved by someone, loved by someone and taken care of by someone
but you know there's no such "someone". No one worth opening up to. 

So basically you try helping and trying to make everyone else's lives better while no one giving a damn about yours.


Written by Ahmed Liwane








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